we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
