I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
