I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize