On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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