Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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