I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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