I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
