Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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