oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
