someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
