Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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