someone threw a dead crab at me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
