Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
