We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
