3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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