I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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