Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I AM VODKA MAN
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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