I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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