Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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