he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
