at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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