nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize