If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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