I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
