Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
