if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
