everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
