The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
