dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
