I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
