I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
