I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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