A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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