hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
