So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you didnt know i had herpes?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
