Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
