There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize