Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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