Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
