What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
