Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
