My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
