i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
