Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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