my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
