"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Michael Bay diarrhea
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
