its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
