Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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