She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
