am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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