No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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