nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
