Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
