I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
