I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
