My friends, they love my intelligence
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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