I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
