More tranny stories later!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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