Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Found the puke drawer
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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