yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
