She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
