i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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