My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
