It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
