Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dignity is for republicans.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize