You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
