HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
