Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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