everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize