If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
