i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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