so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
